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Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
11:39 pm - TO That's Gakked From Val

Your Score: Sad Cookie Cat

60% Affectionate, 24% Excitable, 60% Hungry

You are the classic Shakespearian tragedy of the lolcat universe. The sad story of a baking a cookie, succumbing to gluttony, and in turn consuming the very cookie that was to be offered. Bad grammar ensues.

To see all possible results, checka dis.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Will post a real entry soon, I promise!

current mood: amused

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Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007
9:22 pm - T Last Minute O
OK...this'll be short and sweet cause I've got 6547987987654164798.78 things to do and only 2659879876465.1113 hours in which to do them.

1) My job sucks. I'm not at all happy, especially after receiving an unfavorable review the other week.

2) Party was GREAT! Many thanks to all those who came, and especially Dolores for being awesome!

3) I miss my rental car [rented for the sole purpose of traveling to my niece's gymnastics tournament]. I must look into purchasing one.

4) We're rennovating the basement bathroom [I'm not in the mood for this].

5) Got my review from my church job---also not favorable.

[Apparently, I must just suck at life.]

7) Puppies are shit and piss factories. They won't go outside. They eat everything in sight. Including my pantyhose.

6) Dad back in the hospital. He's been really sick, possibly with an infection. On Friday they took him to the doctor, then the cardiologist [because his difibrillator was looking black & blueish. Cardiologist wanted to admit him, he refused due to weekend plans. Monday [yesterday] he went in via the ER at 11:30 AM so as to avoid needing a referral and wasn't given a room until 9:30 PM. Today he was seen by three docs [cardiologist, infectious disease, and surgeon] as well as the mechanical device people. Turns out they DON'T think he has an infection, however, the generator [the box part] for the device is trying to push its way out of the skin.

THE SOLUTION: They're going to remove the generator from the wires [leaving the wires inside the heart], check to make positively sure there is no infection, then reimplant device UNDER the muscle, much like a breast implant, too keep it from trying to get out again. If it is infected, then they'll have to remove the wires [which is the scary part of difibrillator surgery]. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow.

I'm pooped. Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc.

current mood: scared

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Sunday, February 4th, 2007
7:27 pm - TOW The TWO New Men in My Life
Our search is over and we finally found a puppy to call our own. In fact, we've found two!

After trying like hell to adopt one and having no luck, Dad found an add in this morning's paper for two male dachshund puppies. This was the source of much angst in the adoption process---they didn't always have doxies; you had to take what you could get and Dad was adament about the breed. So, we enquired about them.

After Kayla's hockey game today, we went to see them. We fell in love with them, and decided that we couldn't separate them---so we're getting them both! [Reminds me of when we got the girls; now we have "the boys!"] The family that bred them couldn't be happier to see them go together. They were gonna give them to us right away, but we're not prepared just yet so we're due to pick them up on Wednesday.

The one is a little bigger than the other. He's pictured here. The other one is smaller, has bigger ears, and is somewhat adventurous. [I have no picture of him.] They're still shy around people, being only three months old today, but they're great with kids as there are kids in the family they were born into.

Now, I face the task of naming one of the little suckers [And I paid for one, so I'm determined to name it MYSELF since with none of the other pets we've had that were "mine" did I get that chance. And it's probably best that way, otherwise I'd have had a female black calico cat named Morris and a little black dog named Brownie.] We're thinking of heavily German names. I jokingly suggested Fritz Ludwig and Hans Gustav and Mom and Dad are IN LOVE with those names. *questioning look here* I don't know yet. Eric wasn't helping, either, as he kept suggesting stupid names or names that rhyme, "Hans und Franz" "Siegfried and Roy" Dad liked "Sauer und Kraut." Or maybe Sargent Schulzie." This is going to be the death of me. Maybe Otto? I do like Gustav. *shrugs*

Aside: I still can't listen to Neil Diamond without crying.

NB: Crossposted to myspace.

current mood: excited

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Monday, January 29th, 2007
9:35 pm - TOW The Price of Mailing My Hand
If you wish to hack my hand off in the future and mail it to me for ransom later [wait, that doesn't make sense], it'll cost you $7.15. Well, that is if it's the left hand. I have yet to weigh the right one. [In answer to your unasked question, I was bored and standing by the mail machine.]

Other things about work...

GREAT names. I came across one by the name of Arthur T. Twitchell and I nearly wet myself. Isn't that the best name? Can't you just see it? All sorts of quirky things happen to Mr. Twitchell. He's a HS Principal but with a crazy family and life. Oh nothing perverse like furries and dog sex or anything, just quirky. Like, his entire basment is an exact to-scale replica of the United States for the sole reason of having a model railroad scene to be building up of the transcontinental railroad, complete with little Asian-Americans and Tom Cruise. And he's got a cat named Fido and a dog named Purry. And he's always the hit of every party even though he tries to blend in with the crowd and lay low. "Oh that Arthur!" his friends would say. His favorite meal is Shepherd's Pie on Tuesdays. And when he goes to the dry cleaners, they give him his next door neighbor's, and elderly woman named Violet, bloomers that got mixed in with his blue suit! And then his car breaks down outside an IHOP on the Interstate and the only people that stop to help him are a group of clowns---it's a real clown car!

[sighs] That's Mr. Twitchell for you...always something quirky happening to him.

And, as a newsflash:
Earlier today, Sexy was brought back twice while we waited on the world to change.

I went to another bridal expo with Val, Kim, and Dolores on Sunday and man did we have fun! It's definitely better in groups [although I will always cherish the memories of my first time with Dolores *sniffs*]. We uncovered the true meaning of AATT, played some Plinko, got hot for some "Fun" DJ's, ate too much cake, and let the schnecken beckon! Ladies, I can't wait until the next one!

Finally, I have some good news to report.

I LOST 8lbs!

I'm very pleased. It's a nice, healthy weight loss. Here's hoping I can keep it up so I can be healthier for the weddings.

**Portions of this journal entry were cross-posted to the myspaces.

current mood: tired

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Sunday, January 14th, 2007
8:33 pm - TOW I'm So Busy!
I haven't posted in a while, so I feel as if I'm due.

In short, I'm busy. I was sick over Christmas/New Year's, at the same time I was attempting to execute a Christmas Program for church and working my first full weeks at a brand new job. So that was my life for a lot of late December.

Then January arrived and with it a SLEW of other new things to keep me from collecting dust. Firstly, everyone and their mother-effing mother is getting married. I'm ambivalent about this. Most couples' impending nuptials I'm happy about, others just irk the piss outta me, much like a fucking splinter that the more you try to remove it, the deeper it embeds itself. But that's OK that I have no one this year, because I'll be busy with other things.

For example, the "The Rachel Whips Out A Tit Tour: 2007" has been launched and we're currently shooting in Brazil. Next month, we'll be hitting Japan---Tokyo! Other places we're including on our tour: Cancun, Monoco, Sydney, Toronto, LA, Topton, and Israel---we live life on the wild side. Mark tells me it should be ready to hit TV advertisements in time for Christmas! [THE PERFECT stocking stuffer!] Oh and I know what you might be asking right now, "Rachel! What happens on this tour? What is the point?" Well my friendly readers, the schedule pretty much just involves one of my tits [I believe we've gone with the left one first, cause that's how you read] coming out at various points 'round the globe as we travel around in a van airbrushed with a half-naked centaur woman [who looks suspiciously like me] riding a dragon. And as for the point...it's just a means to market tacky goods and make me, Val, Kim, John, and Mark all thousandaires. [And let's face it, it's a lot cooler of an idea than "Dicks on Dirtbikes!"]

What else is new, what else is new...

Oh! Dolores and I crashed the Berks Bridal Expo earlier today. Apparently I'm getting married on 1/5/08 to a mystery man with the initals S.M. which apparently are the initials for my Mr. Scorpio Soul-Mate Man [Sean McKeown, Seth MacFarlane, and fake-man Steven McNamara---to whom we said I was affianced.] The reason for the name? A LONG, LONG time ago I did an Internet meme of "Find out your soul mate's name" and it was Steven O'_____. We revised it a bit to include the last name of a crush/friend of mine from college with a sexy voice. Dolores made up the back story. Apparently, he's black Irish and is just marrying me for the green card, but either way, he's HOT and it'll be one HELL of a wedding, we're planning. :D

But, yes, Dolores was my Matron of Honor and we planned a bridal shower, a mock-bachelorette party, and entered into a lot of contests---I'll piss myself if I win anything! There were no dresses for me to try on, BUT we did scope out some Hummer Limos and Bus Limos, as well as caterers and venues. We also found a gorgeous bouquet that we got a picture of. I'll post the link as soon as Dolores uploads the pictures. The craziness abounded! So, if it all were true, I'd have that wedding to plan. But, it's not. [That's some relief, I guess.]

Lastly, we're looking into getting another dog. :D Mom decided the other day she couldn't handle coming home to an empty house and despite Dad's volunteering to stay home on her days off so she could pet him when she came home, we are looking into rescuing a dachshund!

Earlier today, too, we checked out the Lehigh County Humane Society to see what kind of dogs they have. And we found this little darling: Blackie. We're gonna call tomorrow to find out if he's still available and, if so, see if we can come in to meet him.

current mood: silly

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Wednesday, December 13th, 2006
8:47 pm - TOW All The Clickies
So sorry Broody, someone else thought of it first! You could've been making millions all these years. There could've been public exhibits and shows, it would've been great! ;)

Make With the Clicky: One

* * * * *

Then, there's this:

Make With the Clicky: Two

My FavsCollapse )

* * * * *

And, to cap it all off, we end with this, from Maxim Online.

Make With the Clicky: ThreeCollapse )

current mood: tired

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Saturday, December 9th, 2006
8:42 pm - TO That's So True!

It's not piss your pants funny, but funny in an "it's sad because this is where the world is headed" sort of way.

Good stuff, good stuff.

current mood: dorky

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Friday, December 8th, 2006
8:17 pm - TO After the Long Week
YAY! I've made it my first full week at my new full-time job! It's been a crazy week. I'm totally not with it right now. They all got a kick outta me at work because my brain ceased functioning sometime yesterday and I've been saying stupid things ever since. [sighs] However, it's not Boscov's and that is both a good and bad thing [eyes Dolores].

It's been really rough. Some of you out there are probably like, "Oh! What a baby, I do this shit every day and I'm not expecting anything..." Very true. You DO do it everyday. I have NOT had to be at a M-F, 8:00 - 5:00 job in over two years. It's an adjustment period, and I'm glad I made it through this first week as well as I did.

And oh, the stories! There is one in particular about a certain...but NO! I'll have to divulge that in a later post.

Funny Real SurNames of the week:


Your Elf Name Is...

Freckles Mc Mini

current mood: accomplished

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Monday, December 4th, 2006
11:00 pm - TOW The Gay Min Pin
Crap! I've been double tagged! [Sighs] Fine, I'll do it, but I'm not gonna tag people. Besides, I have a few minutes before my laundry is finished in the new washer.

RULES: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. My life's ambition is to be the voice of a Disney Princess.

2. I'm a synesthete.

3. I cannot eat unless there is a "good" program on the television [if I'm in front of one, that is.]

4. I have a neck thing. I don't like the back of it touched. Breezes on it hurt me. I once had a dream that I was being shot across the neck.

5. I've always felt old; I never felt like I belonged here---when I was little, I thought it absurd that I needed to take a bath everyday and brush my teeth three times a day.

6. I have a packet of 1930s style photographs that look like stills from stag films [it was my grandfather's] in the drawer beside by my bed.

7. My mother was born on July 4. All of my mother's descendants have birthstones that are either red, white, or blue. The only ones in the family that aren't are those that marry into it. Mom married someone born in November, whose birthstone is a Topaz, yellow in color. My sister, Holly's, husband was born in May, whose birthstone is an Emerald, green in color. Hope's husband was born in February, whose birthstone is an Amethyst, purple in color. [There is only one other month with a non-patriotic stone and that is August---Peridot, Green.] All of their children have red, white, and blue birthstones as well.

8. There is a scar on my lip that was from when I was 10 at a friend's birthday party. I fell on my face on an excercise trampoline. My lip went between the springs that expanded when I hit the trampoline, they contracted back up again, and my lip busted. I had to have two stitches. The scar is because I never put the vitamin E on it like I was supposed to.

9. I enjoy dipping pretzels in gingerale and eating them. I've also been known to soak potato chips with dill pickle juice before eating them.

10. My older brother once put me in the dryer and turned it on.

Lastly, I had forgotten to post this in my previous entry but, another fun event of the evening was when John ranted about how he hated Miniature Pinschers [my sister has one, Scarlet]. He put on a gay accent and face and said he was gonna get one and name it Lamar. "Come Here Lamar, let me put your sweater on!"

current mood: sore

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Sunday, December 3rd, 2006
12:29 am - TOW "The Crap"
The Fountain: A Tale of Two TreesCollapse )

Overall, I rate this movie as a D with two ladybugs out of five. ladybug ladybug

It wasn't all bad. "We do like to have the fun."

We made the best of a bad situation; I took my bra off and waved it over my head in the middle of the theater, a "Giggle Loop" occured, I yelled about Jimmy Smitts in the dead-quiet theatre, and John army-crawled into it after we met Fat Peter Jackson in the lobby---it was good.

Other highlights of the night:

1) Making the people in the 48 Hours video store think we were drunk. We went in innocently checking for cheap movies when John spotted something he didn't like. In true John fashion, he changed out one of the words in the title for "Crap" [ie: Field of Crap instead of Field of Dreams]. We all got silly and walked down all the isles just changing the names of the titles of all the movies---even the ones we liked---to Crap. Favorites included: Failure to Crap, Desperate Crap, and Final Crap [it's a trilogy!]. Then we just left the store without buying anything or talking to anyone.

2) I WON THE GAME OF LIFE! I played the blue-haired lady in the white car. I got a job as a Travel Agent with a $100,000 salary. Eventually I got married to Dick Van Dyke/Jake Gyllenhaal [that's what the avatar looked like] and we had a daughter, Emma. We moved into a lovely Dutch Colonial home---which flooded, but fortunately, I had insurance---and I did get to play some games along the way ["Watch out for that skunk! Don't get greedy!"] and took my dear, sweet time rolling into retirement. :D

3) Running through the movie parking lot with my pashmina held high up over my head, catching the wind, and John running behind me, losing his pants.

current mood: working

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Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
4:19 pm - TO In Memoriam II
Rosie May DeLong-James

April 28, 1990 - November 28, 2006

Beloved companion, friend, protector, and everything a well brought up little lady should be.

Rosie loved to spend her days happily licking, eating, chasing bubbles [and eating them], going for walks, smelling the nasturtiums [and eating them], playing with her alf/duck/bear, hunting for kadydid shells [and eating them], snuggling under her blanket, and just being the bestest dog in the world with a real happy-go-lucky love of life and everyone in it.

It's been a rough year for her, and I know she's in a better place now---with my Pop-Pop and her sister, Ariel, but that still doesn't make losing her any less easy.

A Little Story About My Old Grey LadyCollapse )

DeLong was Pop-Pop's last name. And Mom thought that perhaps "Rosie May" was one of his old girlfriends; he was quite the lady's man in his day.

Bless her heart. "Scarecrow, I'll miss you most of all."

NB: The song quote is from Neil Diamond's "Cracklin' Rose"---I used to sing this to her. And around the holidays, I would sing "Santa Baby" but change it out to "Rosie Baby." Even though the holidays are looming, I thought the quote I chose to be more appropriate.

current mood: sad

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Monday, November 27th, 2006
10:59 pm - TO Some GREAT News
I got a job! I started last Monday at the Allentown Unemployment Compensation Service Center [yes, I realize the irony], henceforth to be abbreviated as AUCSC [Learn it. Live it. Love it.]. Since I now work for the government through the state, I can no longer post about my work on LJ for everyone to see. As such, all work-related posts will be friends-only.

I started last Monday. I work every weekday from 8:30 - 5:00 [and Dad is THRILLED, cause that means I can carpool with him most days].

It's not the best job in the world; I'm a Clerk Typist 2. So far, I'm a go-fer, but understandably so. There are 70,000 forms. This is the easiest way to become familiar with them and ergo learn the system. Eventually I will be processing appeals.

And that's all I'm gonna write about that for now.

<td align="center"> Rachel --

Benevolent to a fault

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Benevolent isn't a mood. Pity.

current mood: benevolent

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Sunday, November 26th, 2006
9:58 pm - TO For My Soul [Ghost] Sistah!


Once again, Tenisha, I must tell you how thankful I am that you are my friend! For the Terrors, the Faire, the Terrors, Trooper Thorns, the Terrors, laughter, the TERRORS, and peeing in my our pants, my life would be so incredibly boring I'd lose my mind [six minutes from now for an entire minute, and just like that voodoo lady with the chicken from Interview With A Vampire!].

Best wishes for this next year [and hoping it'll be the best one yet]! Fear not, co-worker, co-author, and co-conspirator, we'll haunt that castle yet!

P.S. Did I mention, that I thank-you for introducing me to the Terrors? I thought, perhaps, I left that part out.

"Hey John, wait for me!"

Babe, the song is for you! ;) I think I still have that paper somewhere, but I'm virtually giving it to you! *cackles madly*

current mood: hyper

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Wednesday, November 15th, 2006
4:48 am - TO On the Ides of November



To Darling Trish: Because it's your birthday, I suppose I'll let you have our Piper and Musketeer tonight for some birthday fun---but ONLY because it's your birthday! ;)

Here's wishing you a wonderful, FUNderful birthday!

With the Ides of November, comes a deadline I was hoping I wouldn't have to reach. I decided, way back during the Knoll fiasco, that if I STILL could not find a permanent job by November 15, I was going to lower my pride and go to a temp agency.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with temp agencies. I did that during breaks in college. But, that's just it. I was in college. It's a HUGE step back for me. [I'm speaking of just myself here---it's the same as an art restorer ripping down the Mona Lisa and crumbling it up and saying, "I fucked my restoration, now I'm just gonna have to redo this whole painting."] And then, too, there's always what my sister, Hope, said, maybe I won't get hired anywhere. I don't know. I'm very, very, very nervous about doing this.

So, if I don't hear anything from any of the jobs I applied at by the end of the day today, I'm going to the temp agency Thursday, Friday, or Monday [depending on how the rennovation is going].

Oh! I forgot to mention, we're having the roof to our deck fixed [it was leaking water and had mold in one spot three inches thick]. FINALLY! But, someone needs to be here during the day in case the workers need anything. And guess who that someone gets to be? ME!

That's about it for my sad, little life. I just spent a hour [while debugging the computer] working on my Yahoo! Avatar. I fucking love this thing. And, to make it worse, they keep adding more options each day! [Except they're not adding new handbags, scarves, and jewelry.] If you have a yahoo, go on and check it out. It's really fun! I've also been working on my Yahoo! 360 page and Yahoo! Messenger stuff. [Check me out at my jamesracheld@yahoo.com handle.] I'm all about the Yahoo! right now.

Oh, Unemployment! This holiday season, at least, I understand why people kill themselves at this time of year. What I mean is, I can understand how someone gets so down on the dumps, they don't feel like it'll ever get better. As a result of my troubledness, I once again am not sleeping and am waking after only 2 hours [hence why I'm awake at 4:00 AM].

Anyway, Happy Ides of November Everyone!

current mood: awake

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Sunday, November 5th, 2006
10:26 pm - TOW Special Birthday Greetings, Y'all!

That's right! At 4:44 in the mornin' on this day, 5 November, in 1927, everyone's favourite Red Hat Society Lady was born! [That makes her 79 years young today!]

Ol&apos; Verna

What's up with old Verna these days, some of you may be asking? Well, I'll copy and paste this email she sent me, since she and I are so close. She can explain things better than I ever could.

You Know Ol' Verna, She's A Bit Long-WindedCollapse )

current mood: pleased

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Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
10:06 pm - TOW Some Ill Lyrics, er Words
I am so not feeling very well right now. I'm cold,---and I'm never cold---mom keeps telling me every day that I look like death, and I've had a pretty much continual headache since Monday. I think I'm getting a cold. It's about time, too. Normally, I average two sicknesses a year: when the seasons change coming in and out of Winter. Blech.

Also today, not helping my mood, I received my paycheck from Knoll. You remember, the place I worked at for TWO HOURS before they sent me home and then told me they weren't going to hire me? Well they legally had to pay me for that complete day. I got gross pay, not net. And I wanted to cry when I saw how much I could've been making and figured roughly how much I'd have now.

Basically, I figure I'm going to consider it money that I never had and I'm giving it all towards my outstanding car inspection bill. HEY! Only $500 more to go on that! [mutters]

Gakked this from:

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: Philadelphia

Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard.

The Northeast
The Midland
The South
The Inland North
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

NB: I'm so out of it that it took me a good half an hour to figure out where on my computer I stored the HTML for the LJ user color bars I made. I'm going to bed now.

current mood: sick

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Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
6:22 am - TOW This and That [and This and That]
Firstly, THIS announcement:



Here's to you, dear Kevin Smith, for all the sweet little things you do. I'm still waiting for that "whine" & cheese party! ;)

Have a fantastically, wonderfully, excellent birthday!

Then, THAT one:

I just checked The Edge's website and discovered, much to my pleasure, that:


Congratulations boys! And good luck on Friday!

See link for more details: http://www.edge.ca/contests/gong.cfm.

[aside] I'd like to think I had something to do with this, as I voted every day since voting day started using nine emails, seven of which are mine. I mean, I know they had HUNDREDS of people voting for them, but hey, those other eight emails I used couldn't have hurt, right?

Cross-posted to:

Then, There's THIS:

The Week Magazine

Good Week For: The Immature, after the Hubble Space Telescope found a giant, swirling dark spot on Uranus*.

[Thought you all could appreciate the humor of this statement; I know I did!] :D

Lastly, THAT:

As in, That thing I do where I associate colors with people, places, letters/numbers, months of the year has a name!Collapse )

Cross-posted to myspace.

*"Good Week For/Bad Week For" in The Week, 20 October 2006, editor-in-chief, William Falk, 4.

current mood: pleased

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Friday, October 20th, 2006
10:48 pm - TOW All the Scott Bakulas
I'm a woman with needs. Some of those needs sometimes can be met with Scott Bakula, I must admit. However, I haven't "needed" Scott Bakula in that way in some time, having finished my Quantum Leap DVDs several months ago.

It is surprising then, that in the past 48 hours I have seen him TWICE in the guise of others.

Incident #1: Last night, while at John and Val's for Project Runway we were watching some of my old episodes of The State. It was during the Boxcar Hobo Clown skit in which Ben Garant was dressed as a woman---and he is one of the two least woman-looking of the entire cast---that I exclaimed, "My God, he looks like Scott Bakula!"

Incident #2: Today, mere moments ago...an IM conversation with Val amidst discussions of Jonathan Brandis and Hollywood's Hammerhead Shark conspiracy:

Val: haha... now i'm looking up Joshua Jackson; fuckin' Van Der Beek...http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004735/
Rachel: oh Joshua Jackson; oh the 90s' heart throbs
Val: i know!; i'm all about the 90's heartthrobs tonight; next i'll be looking up Ryder Strong and Brad Renfro
Rachel: his wife does not look like a happy lady; http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/4608/Events/4608/HeatherCom_Ausse_8217878_400.jpg.html?path=pgallery&path_key=Van%20Der%20Beek,%20James; dude...in this pick his face is reminiscent of Scott Bakula
Val: lol; Holy Shit! he DOES look like Scott Bakula!
Rachel: hey Val...; why am I seeing Scott Bakulas everywhere?
Val: b/c he's a very attractive man; either that, or you're crazy
Rachel: lol; i'm gonna go with the latter
Rachel: LOL; LMAC; oh that's it; Rachel's over; oh this warrants an LJ entry
Val: i was thinking the same thing; let's post at the same time about the same thing!; we're such cards
Rachel: lol; oh serously...you're gonna be the end of me tonight!

...And so I sit now, wondering how many more Scott Bakulas will pop up, ever so unsuspectingly, at the most interesting of places: at the faire? in the bathroom?

What this means, I have no idea. It's just WEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDD! [in spooky voice]

current mood: silly

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8:14 pm - TOW The "Jump to Conclusions" Mat Guy
I had a job interview today.Collapse )

Well...I myself am not having a very good Halloween Party season, not showing up to Trish's, going as people from TV shows I don't watch from others'. Sighs. Here is my party [people showed up---how uncharacteristic!].

jamesracheld's Halloween party:

_hostages dressed as the main character of "The Best Years of Our Lives".
_rockgoddess_ dressed as the Moral Power Ranger.
bronwenstx dressed as the Cardinal of Midinocit.
broodman dressed as Gwen Stefani riding a cow.
castlecelt dressed as a Level 14 bard.
chev947 dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Cheeseball Chickenbrain".
chicken_karma dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Candle of the Ground.
eidolana dressed as a new superhero: Crimson Warrior.
erinmevans dressed as a junior bastard operator from hell.
eva_c dressed as the love child of Robin Williams and Janet Reno.
fairegirl69 dressed as Michael Jackson.
fiera_316 dressed as Madonna's grandfather, though it looked more like the Cardinal of Osbusdale.
hc_godess dressed as something igneous, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
hockeygurl97 dressed as Optimus Prime, though it looked more like a Open-source Synergies, Inc. employee.
kissmekayte dressed as a spoon.
lizardlaugh dressed as the King of Burkina Faso, and it suited them disturbingly well.
michaelulrich dressed as a origin.
nytcrie dressed as a rainbow fish.
ode_to_poverty dressed as a rat.
peachysakura24 dressed as a llama.
plaball dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Mighty Commander.
ppyajunebug dressed as a neat vampire.
ragnarok5 dressed as Nicole Kidman.
shaniquashan dressed as Millard Fillmore.
slayerjenn dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley, and it suited them all too well.
stephiesspecial dressed as your grandmother.
sunfirejade dressed as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen.
the_gentleman dressed as Captain Kirk from "Star Trek".
theatresm dressed as a vampire.
will_catastasis dressed as the Governor of Tennessee.
Oh there are so many I want to see! I'd have to say my top three are John Broody's eventful choice, Dolores as Michael Jackson, and Val's mystery costume.
Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created with phpNonsense

current mood: okay

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Monday, October 16th, 2006
5:44 pm - TOW A Depressing Life Lesson

Lesson #1112

Why You Should Never Count Your Chicks Before They're Hatched
or Your Jobs Before Your Hands Have Passed A Physical

As part of Knoll's pre-employment screening, I had to attend a pre-employment drug/alcohol test and physical. This is a first for me; I've done the drug test before, but a physical before employment was new, and something to dread---I hate physicals. I scheduled mine for Friday, 10/13 at 1:00 because that was the earliest I could get to their special pre-chosen doctor, having only received the paperwork from Knoll on Thursday.

Things were going great: I peed in the cup well over the 60mL line---this pleased the nurse, then I passed the vison test with 20/20 vision; things were looking up. One of the things that doctors check you for in physicals is reflexes. My leg reflex was better than great. However, when she tested my arms/wrists, she encountered a problem. Apparently, I wasn't responding to the test the way I should have been. So she pulled out this device that looked like a leather stitching tool, and ran it all over my arms/hands. I felt it fine on my forearms, but I could barely feel it on my fingertips. Lastly, she had me sit with my hands back-to-back and pointing downward, timing to see how long it was until they fell asleep. It took me 45 seconds. Anything less than one minute indicated trouble.

The result of all of this: I have CARPAL TUNNEL! And a moderate-severe case at that. Because of this, she informed me at the end of the session that she was legally obligated to tell Knoll that she couldn't recommend me for a position that involved highly repetitive hand motions. She also warned me that I needed to have it operated on as soon as possible, and ironically, that no one would hire me to do [the only work I'm qualified to do other than teaching] clerical work if this was the condition my hands were in.

As soon as I left her office I started bawling [because of this, and for her other discovery that my thyroid is enlarged, which she yelled at me for not knowing about and I promptly told her, "Um, I had my thyroid checked EVERY year...back when I had health insurance, and there was never a problem!"]. I drove home, spoke with my parents and my sister who used to work in HR, and we all pretty much agreed I was fucked. So, I waited, watching the minutes tick by for the inevitable phone call...but it never came.

I spent the rest of Friday in and out of tears because, yes, although I didn't get official word on my situation, I knew it was hopeless, as I knew future attempts at employment were gonna be that much harder. This is the first job I've had an interview for in a year. A YEAR. And, just like that, I could quite very well be back at square one. I made a list of all my expenses, what I need to pay immediately, etc. I need $1500 dollars by the middle of next month---working for Knoll, I could've achieved this at $500 a week. Everything just kept making me feel worse and worse, especially since, ironically, my hands don't hurt me 98% of the time! I am more than capable of doing this job, the doctor just reported it, "For my own good." And then I thought about people that show up to work high, or drunk, or just don't bother to show up at all 3 days out of the week. These people get jobs. Some even get a job and keep it for going on 5 years. Sometimes, they just get jobs, work for a week or two, enough to claim they worked, and then quit. Me, I'm honest, hard-working, and clean. And, I won't get hired for something because "my hands fall asleep when I'm asleep." It was the "Kill the Will of Rachel" video game all over again, only this was Level 2. In this scene you have to keep her from getting too much power by preventing her from going through the doors of opportunity that pop up at her throughout the journey to the hedgemaze of hell's center.

For this morning, since I hadn't heard from Knoll, I decided just to show up as scheduled. I was there for no more than a hour when my supervisor came over to me and told me that they didn't get the fax until this morning from the doctor [this is interesting, as I left the doctor's office around 2:00 and if my math is correct, she would've had a good three hours to fax that over before closing on Friday], and legally with the report being what it was, I couldn't be there. And, in the most humiliating experience of my life [OK, not the MOST, nothing tops that stupid thing I did with to the Piper] I was escorted out of the office after having just been introduced to everyone and their mother, all wishing me well on my first day and congratulating me on joining the team. I was there one hour and five minutes.

They said they'd look into the report, discuss it with their on-call occupational nurse. I didn't hold out much hope and have been kind of numb all day. In their defense, they were shocked as all get out, said they should've scheduled me for a different start date---they NEVER expected such results---, and were gonna try like hell to keep me there.

Well, they didn't try hard enough, apparently. I found out about an hour ago that "under the circumstances, we can't hire you. But hey, if you get it fixed, please call us. We'd love to have you!"

Let this be a lesson to you kids: Don't schedule minor surgery for future times while working at job that will fire you unawares in the coming weeks, and then have the audacity to not fix that dibilitating condition that could prevent you from getting work by using that health insurance you don't have because you need a job first. Where do you get off?.

current mood: crushed

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